Month: July 2013

Manifestation

If you’re a star-gazer, this might be for you. Have you ever visited the Universe (I don’t mean the alienated form)? Have you ever wondered so much what the heavens was like, you had no choice but wanted to explore the Universe? Like Galileo, who invented the telescope because his intention was to not just explore space, but find the heavens only to discover there was more than just to the Earth. He identified multiple objects in space that only the naked eye could find. It later became widely known for the Milky Way.

Upon this discovery this weekend while visiting Air & Space Museum in D.C., I realized just how much God manifests Himself in us and too often we don’t realize it. We miss out on so many opportunities to know Him.

For example: last night, during ministry night, there was a lack of communication between several students causing a disruption in the prayer room. I left and missed out on the opportunity to see what happened but I had the opportunity to hear others discuss the rules of the prayer room. We eventually did and came to the conclusion we all made mistakes. But we moved on from our failures. But what if we missed an opportunity to be ministered to by God during that time because of the distraction? We miss out on an opportunity to experience His Kingdom. But then I realized, God manifested Himself in our when we had to learn how to minister to each other by admitting our mistakes and asking forgiveness… now that is experiencing God’s Kingdom.  

Have you ever saw God manifest in your life as you experience His Kingdom to the point where you almost missed it? God is so good when we finally see what we need to.

Inner Healing

There’s a beautiful little girl who is about nine, in the tree house I once saw in Pennsylvania. She’s got a table full of a tea set and sitting with her is Jesus, while he sipped on tea and munched on English cookies as he adored her.
She has long dark brown hair with red highlights. They are flinging down her purple princess dress. Her skin is dark, like her father’s. She’s so beautiful. Her name is Ezra, which means to start a ministry.
Next to Jesus is a little cradle. In the cradle is a little baby wrapped in a yellow blanket. Jesus looks upon the child and rocks it to sleep in peace.
Jesus turned to me and said, “More are coming, love. More children are coming…”

This week our team including David‘s Tent focused a lot on inner healing. Which focused on removing or releasing parts of our lives that blocks us from having a relationship with God.

Our team specifically went through Sozo, which in Greek translation to English means, ‘Saves, deliverance, heals and restores.’ It’s mentioned over 110 times in the New Testament.

Without giving much details; it wasn’t a walk in the park, that’s for sure! I had to go through it twice in one week (usually you wait 30 days before going through it again). But I didn’t feel satisfied in the first one. I felt one of the doors gave me a lot of issues. Once I was able to work through the door, I felt relief letting certain people go and even myself.

I was able to pinpoint certain things from my childhood which led up to the very moment of what I struggle with. For example: I got stung by a bee one day while seeing if a friend was home down the road. I ran home crying and didn’t know how to deal with my wound. Like any child, I run to my mother. But she was on the phone and didn’t feel a bee sting was a big deal and told me to go away. Eventually, I wandered over to the bathroom and found a bandaid (of course, when you’re little, you think band-aids solve all of your problems). At least I attempted something but it left a wound about how to deal with communication and the lack of comfort in a time of need. It led to many years of feeling neglected or rejection.

Before I keep going, I want to say, I have moved on from that. And am working on how to be better at communicating and not withdrawing when I become frustrated. Because then it leds to self-rejection. I’m not rejecting you, I rejecting myself, but this is a work in progress as I learn to become more patient.

I’ve also worked on the issues of letting go of people who tend to drag me down with their expectations in the Deaf and Hearing world. Their expectations of knowing ASL 100 percent fluently or speaking so well/or the opposite that I cannot meet their standards and often feel like I am in the middle of a war when in fact, I know where I stand. I know I identify myself as DEAF but I can speak so well, you wouldn’t think I was Deaf. However, I was given this gift. I am not choosing to waste it, but utilize it. People who drag me down with their expectations don’t realize they need to let me be, and I need to let them be in where they are. But most importantly, I identify myself in Christ. I was prophesied over in high school I would work with both the deaf and hearing. I had the ability to communicate in a way many people cannot.

During Sozo, I was told I would be ministering and bringing healing to many from those who have experienced trauma and have lost a child. Even in the middle of Sozo, I was already doing it while receiving healing. I have to say, it’s pretty exciting to finally have peace and also know that something can be done.

I realized I don’t need to fight the ‘realities’ of my life but let it go. The realities don’t decide who you are. Declaring truth brings freedom.

Mark Batterson, a pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C., mentioned in his 40 Day Prayer Circle book, that a prayer doesn’t just change a life, it changes you.

Wedding vows

This week has been amazingly overwhelming. I recently moved into the Embassy Church on Embassy Row, which enables us to pray more about our upcoming decision to go to Israel in the coming months. I love that we have to compromise over the two showers available to 30 people. Including students and staff. There is nothing better than simply appreciating a quick shower after a run in the morning. 

During orientation, we were told they had came up with an idea of doing wedding vows so we would be encouraged to follow our promises to God. Yes, we’ve given our life to God; yes, we were baptized and even in the Holy Spirit. But do we consider ourselves completely and intimate with God? We’ve even had discussions about sex, and while it’s a taboo subject when it comes to Jesus, it’s not about that. It’s about the deep, intimacy level we had. Where we are willing to be transformed and be much more like him (or in other words, be transformed and become reproductive for him). Crazy, right? But, such a great idea. Feel free to comment if you disagree or see it another way.

But back to what I wanted to talk about, we would be given a ring in which says. “I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.” The other half is translated into Hebrew. To know Jesus is not just my savior or the one who died on the cross to save us but also came back to life for us, it’s more than that. He didn’t just give us the Holy Spirit to simply be humble for the rest of our lives, he wanted us to be transformed and intimate with him. 

I wrote out my wedding vows, each one of us wrote something and each one was different but all come to same conclusion of welcoming Jesus into deep abyss of our lives. Image

As I run into the woods, I see a bright light shining on the other side.
All I can do it run to it
My curiosity begs me
I begin to need to catch my breath, so I rest
I sat on the rock and nearby located a stream and retrieved some water to quench my thirst
I get up and keep going towards the bright light; seeking for your face
Thorns from the bushes began wounding my sides
I stop to wipe away the blood and allow them to be healed
I keep running towards the light
Day becomes night
The sun goes down and the moon rises giving away it’s light
Wolves began to come at me, you send a predator prying for his pray to come and take them away
The sun rises and birds fill the air with your awakening song
The light is still shining as I press on
You gave me sweet berries to give me strength
But they stained my lips red
I find flowers as I get closer to the light, and wedge them in between my hair and ear
Showing the beauty and providing the fragrance you love
I keep running towards the light and I finally see your face
You hold out your hands and reach out
You say, “Come, and I will give you everlasting life and love”
My beloved, I am always with you, giving you streams of water, light, food healing and beauty. No matter where you go, I am always walking besides you. And no matter what you do, I will always love you.”
I reach over and take his hand and with the red stained lips, I give a gentle kiss

I wake up and realize that it has all been just a dream, but it puts a smile on my face as I know my beloved is with me

I promise to seek your beauty, I promise to praise you in all you do, I promise to declare love but not just through words but also action
I promise to seek your knowledge and counsel, I promise to let you guide me by the hand as well as the Holy Spirit
I promise to let you heal me, even when I’m stubborn
I promise to let you take the wheel and drive me
I promise to let you give water, so I will never be thirsty again
I promise to love you first, as you have always loved me