There’s a beautiful little girl who is about nine, in the tree house I once saw in Pennsylvania. She’s got a table full of a tea set and sitting with her is Jesus, while he sipped on tea and munched on English cookies as he adored her.
She has long dark brown hair with red highlights. They are flinging down her purple princess dress. Her skin is dark, like her father’s. She’s so beautiful. Her name is Ezra, which means to start a ministry.
Next to Jesus is a little cradle. In the cradle is a little baby wrapped in a yellow blanket. Jesus looks upon the child and rocks it to sleep in peace.
Jesus turned to me and said, “More are coming, love. More children are coming…”
This week our team including David‘s Tent focused a lot on inner healing. Which focused on removing or releasing parts of our lives that blocks us from having a relationship with God.
Our team specifically went through Sozo, which in Greek translation to English means, ‘Saves, deliverance, heals and restores.’ It’s mentioned over 110 times in the New Testament.
Without giving much details; it wasn’t a walk in the park, that’s for sure! I had to go through it twice in one week (usually you wait 30 days before going through it again). But I didn’t feel satisfied in the first one. I felt one of the doors gave me a lot of issues. Once I was able to work through the door, I felt relief letting certain people go and even myself.
I was able to pinpoint certain things from my childhood which led up to the very moment of what I struggle with. For example: I got stung by a bee one day while seeing if a friend was home down the road. I ran home crying and didn’t know how to deal with my wound. Like any child, I run to my mother. But she was on the phone and didn’t feel a bee sting was a big deal and told me to go away. Eventually, I wandered over to the bathroom and found a bandaid (of course, when you’re little, you think band-aids solve all of your problems). At least I attempted something but it left a wound about how to deal with communication and the lack of comfort in a time of need. It led to many years of feeling neglected or rejection.
Before I keep going, I want to say, I have moved on from that. And am working on how to be better at communicating and not withdrawing when I become frustrated. Because then it leds to self-rejection. I’m not rejecting you, I rejecting myself, but this is a work in progress as I learn to become more patient.
I’ve also worked on the issues of letting go of people who tend to drag me down with their expectations in the Deaf and Hearing world. Their expectations of knowing ASL 100 percent fluently or speaking so well/or the opposite that I cannot meet their standards and often feel like I am in the middle of a war when in fact, I know where I stand. I know I identify myself as DEAF but I can speak so well, you wouldn’t think I was Deaf. However, I was given this gift. I am not choosing to waste it, but utilize it. People who drag me down with their expectations don’t realize they need to let me be, and I need to let them be in where they are. But most importantly, I identify myself in Christ. I was prophesied over in high school I would work with both the deaf and hearing. I had the ability to communicate in a way many people cannot.
During Sozo, I was told I would be ministering and bringing healing to many from those who have experienced trauma and have lost a child. Even in the middle of Sozo, I was already doing it while receiving healing. I have to say, it’s pretty exciting to finally have peace and also know that something can be done.
I realized I don’t need to fight the ‘realities’ of my life but let it go. The realities don’t decide who you are. Declaring truth brings freedom.
Mark Batterson, a pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C., mentioned in his 40 Day Prayer Circle book, that a prayer doesn’t just change a life, it changes you.