Month: August 2013

Here we are God

At some point in my life, I attended a deaf institution for four years. I decided to leave because I wasn’t being challenged academically. I was literally failing school. I was already having to wake up before 5 A.M. just to get ready for school in the mornings and was not able to go to bed until midnight because I was always doing homework. Eventually, I transferred to a public school. Where standardized testing was beginning to be engraved into our minds, instead of actually critically thinking for ourselves.

The generations of my family values have been handed down about morality but nothing attributing to those beliefs. I didn’t grow up in a church but had religious exposure to Judaism, Hinduism, Catholicism, and so forth.

The question that came up this week in Discipleship Training School (DTS): What is my worldview and where does it come from?

When I look at a picture of Hitler, I have many questions about who he is. What he did and how it affected my emotions about him. To be honest, while they are not necessarily peaceful, it’s still questionable. The speaker we had this week pointed out that HItler never actually killed anyone, but his ideology did. So, is he really a murderer? He definitely didn’t stop what what happening.

This wasn’t the only world problem we discussed in class, we also discussed where Communism originated from and the consequences. The consequences? Continuous Mass killings (currently: North Korea).

All because it started with one idea.

Or how about in today’s public schools? Do you know why they keep our minds simplified and focused on testing rather than using critical thinking? It’s originated from a Marxist viewpoint. No wonder I could never invest my energy in history class, because it’s all stuck on one view point (what happened, but not origination and consequences).

It’s definitely challenged me as an investigative journalist to do my research. I already know the basic idea of checking out all the who, what, where, when, why and how. My job is not to just Investigate what’s happening right at this moment, but how it originated or what the consequences are. Unfortunately, in today’s society, we’re thrown back with only the headline and a quick five-second summary. No one wants a detailed story to make a decision.

I was in the prayer room this afternoon, 1 Corinthians 15:11-19 came to mind. The passage was talking about how David commanded the Levites that they must purify themselves and take responsibility for the Ark because they did not previously as Moses had commanded them by God.

It hit me how much of an influence that our previous generation has, when they don’t participate or avoid participating because they believe it doesn’t apply to them directly. But they also don’t realize how everything directly affects the next generation.

Our last few generations kept everything hush-hushed about what was really happening and when asked, they simply disagree with the issue for whatever reason. But never really explain it. Therefore, it affects how we react. We become apathetic or passive. We don’t vote, and we don’t go to church. Our ideas has serious consequences on the next generation.

As David did, I’m challenging the previous generation behind me to share their wisdom with us. I’m challenging our current generation and the next generations to rise up and fight for His Kingdom by revival.

God made a covenant of living on for thousands of generations. So, here we are God. Shake our nation.


Dream a dream

Gallaudet University
Gallaudet University

One of the hardest things is being a disciple AND a missionary. As I learn and read more about Paul’s life and the calling to disciple people in prison as well as travel from place to place to plant churches and making sure everything is running smoothly, I admit, it’s scary and has to be overwhelming. Is this the life I want to continuously lead? Am I willing to give up everything to pursue God and bring His Kingdom to earth, a place where many people don’t know Him or are lacking anyone to help them? What is my responsibility on earth? I don’t mean my purpose but my responsibility in God’s Kingdom?

I have been with this guy for about eight months, it’s been a true blessing, even though we are no longer together, I still believe it was a blessing. He encouraged me, challenged me but also prepared me in ways I wasn’t expecting to be this year. More importantly, my pursuit with God. Being in a relationship challenged me to take my walk with God more seriously. I’m a dreamer, I love to share my dreams. Even my wildest, craziest dreams, like being chased by zombies.

I dream of settling down someday. Having a family, a home where I can feel rooted. I haven’t lived in one place for more than five years. Because of this, I know my home here on earth is temporary. So, while I am on earth, my responsibility is to find people who can emerge in His Kingdom. Doing this can enable us to support each other in very difficult and challenging seasons of our lives. Which can draw out the beauty of God. This is why I pray for marriage, to find someone who wants to pursue God the same way. Not just go to church on Sundays and feel content and spend the rest of the week just knowing God exists. I want to know God in a way no one is willing to understand and share it with someone. God showed me Prov. 2:1-5, which goes into Prov. 3:5 in not being to fully understand God, but what God desires of us. I dared to step over the line, hearing His calling to enter a place like Gallaudet University, where God is but not seen or experienced.

My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
2 making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
3 yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.

I don’t just want or be a disciple or missionary. I want to pray through everything, dream the dreams God gives and have one of the most intimate relationship. Basically, I want to be a daughter of God who longs for others to know Him. Now that’s a radical dream.

A season to the max


I thought I would start off the blog with something cute. Who knew old folks would fall in love with the younger generation and vice versa? They were just the darndest thing in my eyes. There are no youngsters attending their church and lacking the resources for reaching out. But their hearts overflowed seeing the hearts of young people hungry for God.

Our teams headed out to Lancaster, PA last week to attend the weeklong Circuit Riders School (Conference). Where their motto is, ‘Save the lost. Revived the saved. Train them all.’ The point is to focus on evangelism, revive those who are lacking and save those who need Jesus. Our nights ended with declarations and worship being led by the Holy Spirit. Too often we attend churches where it runs on structured time and people lose sight of why they are there. How do we change this in our generation, when we’re starving for more of God and thirsty for life?

It was one of the few times I’ve felt not just God’s presence, but the Holy Spirit filling the room. When about 500 students went out to evangelize, over 320 people were saved and 60 were healed. Talk about going to the maximum! 

We learned to get rid of our passivity and decided to be bold. We decided we wanted to get rid of fear and instead, let God, not us be the one in control and faithful through all the ages. We decided to get rid of unbelief and rise up to what God has for us. Then we can do more, reach more and run the course of pursuing our biggest dreams. We don’t even need to put our dreams on hold to pursue God but instead, let Him be the one to guide us. Honor those around you, even if it just means listening and listen with an unoffendable heart. Encourage each other; don’t be condemning. Even if it means starting the game plan with passing the ‘ball.’ Let revival come!

Believe in the Holy Spirit in letting him use you. Your gifts and never underestimate the power. For me, I have a couple of gifts I’m learning how to use. But like everyone else, I make mistakes and I learn from them.

For example: I had a vision a couple of weeks ago of my mom sitting in the kitchen. It’s was in the 80’s. She just got off the phone with my biological father. She was pretty upset. In front of her, was my birth certificate. It had not yet been signed. Next to my mother was God, he was comforting, telling her it’s ok. He had His arms wrapped around her. Then He said, ‘It’s ok, she can call me Abba.’ Then He signed it with an invisible pen.

ImageThis weekend, I went to the Hershey’s farm owned for several generations. We were there for dinner. I called my mom to follow up and also because I miss her. And she confirmed my vision. Not only that, but she also said, at some point, she was give great peace and comfort and decided not to give me my father’s last name but my grandfather’s on my mom’s side.  Not only did it give me peace, but great comfort in Abba. The one who loved me all along. 

This is what it looks like when God changes my heart for the better good.