Have you ever tasted heaven? No matter how many times I sat down for hours and just prayed, I’ve never experienced God the way I have in the past couple of days in the midst of Breakthrough 45. (Want to know more, go to http://www.asldts.com). One Corinthians 13:1-7 is the word God spoke to me:
1If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
A few days ago, I began to ask God deep and difficult questions about my deafness. I’ve been deaf since birth and often wondered what it would like to be hearing. I also honestly and painfully struggle with my identity because of labels and pressure in the Deaf community as well as the hearing. I asked God, “What language do YOU speak?” Not what the world speaks, even though I know all languages spoken including all forms of sign language and English (both native speaking languages) were created by God. Which was because the fall of Babel. But what does God speak?
While the above passage is a reference to mostly speaking in tongues, I realized it was more than speaking in tongues. It’s about love. The greatest and most misunderstood language of all time. God wants us to be a representative of heaven, but that means we must fully surrender every part of ourselves.
I got down on my knees and began to humble myself. I want to speak God’s language so desperately. I want to be a better stewart of His Kingdom. As I’m praying, my left ear began to sound weird. I began to hear a deep voice of someone singing. I decided to test it and took out my cochlear implant in my right ear. Suddenly, it began to sound clearer but it was only the voice I could hear. I didn’t look to see who was singing. Then it stopped and went back to being normal.
At the end of our prayer meeting, we gathered together as a community and began to pray/sing in tongues. I couldn’t relate because we were asked to match up with the piano playing. So, once again, I got down and asked God for a revelation to speak in tongues. Instead, my ear began to open up once again, instead to the sound of the piano playing. It was the only thing I could hear, no other sound was heard.
After a day of just processing, I’m still amazed and in awe of the kind of God we have. Maybe He didn’t fully heal me, and that’s ok. I’m not expecting to be healed, but being able to taste some of heaven simply humbled me. It was enough for me to say God is a healer and my deliverer.