This may be a bit of a crazy post, but I’ll take the risk of making it into a Heart of a Warrior confession. Recently, my mom’s battle with cancer has become difficult and more of a narrower road for her.
When I was 12, I believed my mom wouldn’t make it past 60. I would imagine she would die of lung cancer or a heart attack (she’s a smoker). I honestly don’t know what made me think this would even be possible, but I allowed my mind to believe this. Until recently. When I pray about my mom, I began to realize an inner vow taking and my heart completely breaking it. How could I have allowed myself to believe this lie for so long and even think it could become true.
I’ve been questioning what the next year will look like for my family. Will my mom still be around, will she be healed? What should I expect from this season for God to teach me and family?
The biggest lesson in this journey for me has been faith. Once I realized the vow I made when I was 12 was still logged in my mind, I needed to break it and replace it with faith of complete healing and restoration. It certainly hasn’t been easy, I feel at fault and burden for my mother’s illness. But I know that God is so much bigger than cancer and He could easily kick it in the teeth. Satan put lies in my mind and I allowed myself to believe it. But with grace, I’m forgiven and my mom is restored.
Pray for her in this time, that she won’t need to endure anymore than what she’s been asked to. Let her be blessed in all she does.