Breaking a lifelong vow

This may be a bit of a crazy post, but I’ll take the risk of making it into a Heart of a Warrior confession. Recently, my mom’s battle with cancer has become difficult and more of a narrower road for her. 

When I was 12, I believed my mom wouldn’t make it past 60. I would imagine she would die of lung cancer or a heart attack (she’s a smoker). I honestly don’t know what made me think this would even be possible, but I allowed my mind to believe this. Until recently. When I pray about my mom, I began to realize an inner vow taking and my heart completely breaking it. How could I have allowed myself to believe this lie for so long and even think it could become true.

I’ve been questioning what the next year will look like for my family. Will my mom still be around, will she be healed? What should I expect from this season for God to teach me and family?

The biggest lesson in this journey for me has been faith. Once I realized the vow I made when I was 12 was still logged in my mind, I needed to break it and replace it with faith of complete healing and restoration. It certainly hasn’t been easy, I feel at fault and burden for my mother’s illness. But I know that God is so much bigger than cancer and He could easily kick it in the teeth. Satan put lies in my mind and I allowed myself to believe it. But with grace, I’m forgiven and my mom is restored.

Pray for her in this time, that she won’t need to endure anymore than what she’s been asked to. Let her be blessed in all she does.

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4 thoughts on “Breaking a lifelong vow

  1. Hi Liza! I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. When we are children a lot of those thoughts can run through our minds. I remember having those fears too. A lot of times I think that’s just adolescence trying to work out fears of things we don’t understand.

    The great thing about God is that He is not dependent on our shortcomings to be incredibly Holy, working behind the scenes for exactly what we need. So long before you came to the realization that it was time to let go of fear…. God was already five steps ahead.

    I have MS and it has taken me a long time to learn to live day by day. Day by Day is a phrase that used to scare me! Because I took as “Enjoy the day because you aren’t promised tomorrow.” But I don’t think that’s what God intended for that phrase to mean at all. I think He wants us to focus on this day because when we live in tomorrow we’ve wasted a perfectly good day.

    Wishing you many, many, many good days with your mama. Standing in agreement with you that your Mama will regain full health and be strengthened. Praying for you to be able to release anything that’s holding you back from feeling secure and comforted. The red guy would love for you to get all sick and upset. Don’t let him get you down.

    I am a staff writer for E Pray. I’d love to feature your mama as a prayer request. We have 3 million users. All I would need is a photo of your mom so our design team can put it on a banner for our social media. If you are interested drop me a line. If not, praying from here.

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement and it’s so true. I’ve struggled with a seizure disorder my whole life, so I know how the whole day to day thing works. I remember visiting Uganda and they believe in the importance of celebrating today, not yesterday or the future because they don’t know what it may bring.

      But there is also the need to come to a place of repentance to break free from curses. This was one of those places I wanted freedom, especially within my family.

      Here’s a photo I have on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=646325681382&set=a.646324473802.2198914.39109862&type=3&theater

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