Month: October 2015

Full Surrender

In September, my husband and I began volunteering for the first time for David’s Tent DC with the YWAM DC ASL Community crew. We will be volunteering full-time until Nov. 8, 2016. Already, It’s been challenging, fun and often brings me to deeper revelations about God.

The more I learn about what worship means, the more I feel connected with God. I’ve spent countless hours in the prayer room at Embassy Church in Washington, DC just surrendering my heart to God. Working through my innermost thoughts and emotions that only God knows what to do with. I’ve hosted a few Prayer Burns over the years to provide an environment where others could go to experience God but also to give Him the greatest glory for all He’s done. But in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself being asked questions I never would thought to think of.

I know my Jesus gave everything for me so I could live. I know he died on the cross, so I wouldn’t have to carry the burdens of my sins. Not only didn’t he die but he rose again so he could continue to live in me. The thought of this if often mind-blowing.

But the question posed to me this week was: Would you be willing to give up a part of your identity to experience more of me?

I asked this question to my husband and he had a hard time answering this himself. But the more I think about it, the more I realized that sometimes what we believe is our identity is not what God wants us to experience. My main identity is and should be in Him and Him in me.

My identity includes but is not limited to: a woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, Deaf, epileptic, a priest and so much more. No, God is calling me out for so much more than these things listed above. When I go to heaven, will my identity remain the same?

I look at the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22. When Abraham’s faith was being deeply tested when God told him to sacrifice his son as a burnt offering. Abraham has not made any objection though I imagine he was sadden, especially since he and Sarah had a difficult time conceiving a child to begin with.

As I am pregnant now, I began to see so many stories in the Bible highlighted. But this particular story brings me to wonder, do I fear God as Abraham does? I’m not suggesting to anyone to go off and kill a child as an offering, Jesus already is the ultimate sacrifice for us.

Would I be willing to give up a part of my identity if it meant I could experience God like never before?

Are you willing to surrender yourself if it meant you could be intimate with Jesus?