Month: January 2016

Broken about the creation of life

baby selah at 23 weeks

Why should babies or even life be a political agenda? Why should I be called pro-life or pro-choice?

The truth is… I love life. I love the fact that my daughter is growing in my womb. I love feeling her move and I get nervous when she’s quiet all day. Sometimes I poke my stomach just to make sure she’s alive in there. It’s not just fun but she’s a miracle.

At around six weeks, I went to a clinic to confirm I was pregnant. As soon as the physician sat down with me and told me. She expressed her concern and asked if I was ok with being pregnant and how I felt. I wasn’t struggling to get pregnant or anything, but I was over the moon excited. She then began in explain how women come into the clinic often wishing they weren’t pregnant. That they didn’t have to worry about raising a child. The idea of being excited with a mom who wasn’t, leaves the clinic hesitant until they know for sure the mom is ok with continuing the pregnancy.

I left in pieces. There are women out there who don’t want to have children and leave devastated when they find out they are pregnant. Not only that, but the clinic allows our society to sulk in this way. Having a child is a huge responsibility but it’s a blessing.

A few weeks ago, I had an ultrasound to make sure the baby was growing healthy and we were able to find out if we were having a girl or boy. My husband and I were both excited. But the doctor sat us down and informed us her heart has calcification which could be a marker for Down Syndrome or future heart defects. She then proceeded to encourage us to do genetic counseling, only to make sure we were okay with the idea of continuing with the birth of our baby girl. Many parents find out there is a small issue with the baby and that it would be best not to continue the pregnancy, we were told.

Again, I left not only broken in pieces but I became a little bit angry. Angry that she would even suggest terminating life where I’ve seen the heartbeat. I’ve seen a moving picture on a screen and even have little snapshots of our daughter that I proudly hang on my living room wall. I left in pieces once again as I think about all the problems my daughter might have, but was she worth eliminating from our life because of a little problem?

I questioned: how is it that doctors walk around thinking it’s ok to encourage the elimination of life before before allowing the parents to process? Because the law gives us a limitation as to how much time before we can stop the pregnancy?

I haven’t officially met my daughter as I’m only 25 weeks in but already there is this unspeakable bond I cannot break since the moment I saw the lines appear on the pregnancy tests I took at home.

But what this blog post is not: I’m not pro-life nor am I pro-choice. What I am is… brokenhearted about this issue. I didn’t feel like I could completely celebrate my daughter’s life the first few weeks because I couldn’t understand how society has even allowed women to consider abortion when there are alternative options out there.

The fight isn’t about murdering an unborn child, or judging the doctors. It’s about the broken system that’s left in pieces because it’s come to the conclusion on how we see life.

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How do you wrap up a year like 2015?

If people were to ask me to sum up 2015 in one word, it would be purposeful. It was busy but had so much purpose. Here’s a list of a few highlights below:

  1. The ASL DTS 2014-15 crew went to the Philippines. Meanwhile, Josiah and I were dating.
  2. He proposed on Feb. 2, 2015!
  3. I led an outreach to host a 12-hour prayer burn in Rochester, NY with Josiah co-leading.
  4. The YWAM DC ASL crew moved into the Lighthouse in April. (Matthew 6:14)
  5. Josiah and I got married June 27th! We took a road trip to Canada and back to Arizona before heading to DC.
  6. We decided to commit 14-months of volunteering for David’s Tent DC starting 9/11/15-10/8/16. Regardless of rain, snow and even the Pope couldn’t shut us down.
  7. We started events at the Lighthouse with Gallaudet students as well as people from all over the DC, VA and MD area.
  8. We found out we’re going to be parents in September. In December, we found out it’s a baby girl.
    christmasannoucement

I’ve been going over in my head lately about how crazy this year has been. To date, be engaged, married and pregnant in the same year! Most people would have said we were going too fast, but everything felt right. It was a year of fun, love, bonding and growing. I say growing literally with life!

In terms of ministry, it was a year of a lot of awesome changes and challenges. I got to led my first outreach team on a short mission trip to NY which was a great experience. I felt tested in my own leadership capacity as well as seeing others take the lead. Since then, I’ve seen so much more growth in our team.
Being a part of the Lighthouse event has been fun. I’ve met a lot of people over the last few months. People I’ve had the opportunity to know, pray, learn and to laugh a lot.
David’s Tent DC has been a blast, of course, nothing has been without challenges. We had to relocated temporarily when the Pope came to town but it didn’t stop us from worshipping God 24/7. Our team takes the morning watch and we have met tons of people and have witnessed God do amazing things in people’s lives. We both have experienced a little bit of a breakthrough in leading in worship one way or another. Sometimes, just seeing people’s lives be changed by how we worship; speaking in our heart language – American Sign Language.

I have so much to be thankful for and much to look forward to. Just like Jesus who is the past, present and the future. This is what God has been speaking to me. To be still and know that He is God. He’s the one who knows my life. I know that the year 2016 will be crazy, fun and challenging too. I wouldn’t expect less. One thing I don’t think 2016 will be: a year of resolutions to accomplish. Instead, it will be a year of thanksgiving and learning to appreciating the ride. I’d rather enjoy my successes and my failures and learn from them, than to fail and not learn anything.  The year 2016 is not far away from now and I cannot wait to see what God has in store.

May your 2016 be super blessed!