Category: YWAM

Blink of an eye: a new generation

DSC_0421Seems like forever since I last wrote, I was actually surprised how many people don’t have internet or wifi in their home as I discovered while traveling cross country this summer. The writer in me was getting a little creative after spending a lot of time talking to myself. Now that I’m back in D.C., I’m ready for another round of craziness (after a two week break). But first, I can’t go without sharing what’s been happening in the last two months about the B.E. and what God has been showing me about our generation. 

Before I left for the B.E. tour, I honestly tried to not set myself for high expectations. One of my greatest strength and weakest. I was at at least expecting to see God do amazing things and truth is, because of this, the trip was beyond my expectations and sometimes God surprised me. After 20+ performances for our hour-long drama, I saw God moving. Sometimes I was never sure. In some locations we stopped and performed at, people would laugh deliriously and I could hear it from behind the backdrop curtains. Other times, it was completely silent and once in awhile, I might hear a stifled laugh. I was never sure but I certainly hoped people were gaining insight through what God wanted to share with them.

I didn’t join this trip because I wanted to gain something amazing from this summer (I knew that would happen), but I went on the trip because I wanted to see God move. I wanted to see partnership within the deaf and hearing community and become a witness to something in our generation that I often feel is missing: hunger. Instead I see too many people focusing on the emptiness. As someone who knows what it’s like to grow up in the fatherless generation, emptiness and uncontentment which is sometimes all I see and feel. What our generation is lacking is hunger for the father. It’s almost normal to not have a father involved in people’s lives.

A few days ago, I read to To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller and it hit me, we not only live in a fatherless generation but we also don’t know what it’s like to be ‘Fathered.’ This is something I’m grasping on a personal level as God has been revealing Himself to me this year that He is my Father. But I’m still learning what it means to let Him father me in my life. But what does this mean for my generation who is searching high and low for a father’s love? 

At the end of most performances, there would be fellowship. We all had an opportunity to hear what God did in people’ hearts. For many, they were hit about their original identity and for some, they talked about what was missing in their lives. They were beginning to feel hunger pangs for something more than what they’ve been taught. 

My ongoing prayer:

Father, no matter what our generation looks like or is lacking, I pray You will be the one to not only fulfill their needs, but also show them more of who You are. Using the smallest part of their everyday lives. The next generation may suffer just as much, but at least they would know something is out there that is greater than what they world offers. I’m not afraid of what our generation is going through, but I’m afraid the hunger pangs will be satisfied by what they world may offer but it will never be enough or eternal. I long for people to be hunger for your everlasting love, especially from my generation where the fatherless are struggling to know You. Bring back the original meaning of marriage and families and teach us how to love as you love. This is a generation that is going to fight for what they know is rightfully theirs and won’t have to wait until heaven to receive it or realize they miss out on a beautiful journey on the other end. You know no bounds, yet gave your life for us.

Fill us with your love, in Jesus’ name.

The heart of Paul

Paul is one of my favorite writers, missionary, activist and intercessor. He helped plant many of the first century churches and ministered to so many people in his lifetime. He’s one of the few people who changed in such a short time. How can we strive to be like him that demonstrates much of Jesus’ love?

Unlike Jesus, Paul sinned. He was far from perfect. But he wasn’t afraid to run to God in his struggles. When he wrote to Timothy in Romans, he expressed his heart of desiring to reach the unreached. This was the perfect reminder of why I’m a missionary. We’re called to go to places (uncharted waters) and share the Gospel. If we limit ourselves to what they world offers us, then it’s really easy to miss out.

Our Youth With A Mission (YWAM DC) base has been participating in 45 Breakthrough, where we’ve been praying for muslim nations. A part of it requires we participating in priestly hours in the Washington House of Prayer. Where we spend an hour or more each day in the prayer room. My prayer watch has been from 6-7 a.m. Just before sunrise. In the past few days, God has been challenging me to go further in what I’m being called to.

I’ve been reminded to go to the heart of dark places to spread the Gospels. At this point in my walk, I know I’m not quite ready. But when God challenges me to read and prayer over unreached places, I get excited and ask for more. America is in the top ten unreached locations but it’s only because of secularism, legalism and  performance-mind set. We have yet to be free from this.

As for other nations, it will a different story. It’s all about history, religion, politics. Love and hate, which has been a never ending story. But the story of Jesus will not just be the beginning and the ending of a story, but an everlasting story. I hope one day, this becomes the story for the heavens to shout over. Let me go to uncharted waters, God!

Beautiful Mess

daughter-dancing-fathers-feetI love the idea of dancing on Abba’s feet. I love the idea of waltzing across the dance room. I used to immerse myself in my school and work and was always busy. It was my escape, my only way to avoid confronting my problems which were real, but wasn’t a realistic way to deal with them. But recently, I’ve been learning how to confront my issues and working through them. Learning how to apologize and times to thankful. I’m learning when to be joyful (or have the funny bug) and times to grieve. I’m learning to dance with Abba, in all the walks of life. He embraces me intimately through the good and bad and I just want to fall in love with Him.

Since I’ve become an independent missionary and then joining Youth With  A Mission, I’ve had to learn a lot along the way. I’m just wrapping up a season of discovering my voice and learning how to use it. Now I’m finally embracing it (still learning) but making it a healthy lifestyle to express my true feelings. For both the broken world and with God. I am now entering a season of reconciliation. Healing my heart through using my voice and healing my relationships. I know there will be bumps in the road but I also know, the reconciliation will only bring glory to God. I’m not just fighting for my kingdom but my birthright. God made us, and because of Adam and Eve, we’ve become a beautiful mess.

With God, anything is possible.