The keys to the Kingdom

In 2013, my husband to be and our team made a way to Bethlehem in Palestine for our outreach. One of the girls on our team was having a hard time sleeping and our team leader stayed up to talk and pray with her. As they were talking, they heard a loud thud and turned on the flashlight and discovered a red box had fallen from the shelf. They decided to look inside and found it was full of keys. Keys of all shapes and sizes. A word our team felt was this would open the keys to the Kingdom. 

Today, my husband and I are sitting in a guesthouse in Gambia. A place neither of us dreamed or imagined we would ever be. We are here because we were called. We are here because we asked and we received a very clear picture of where God wanted us to be. We are here because we were given the keys to the Kingdom where we can open and close doors. We’ve been entrusted with these keys to open an invitation to relationships with people who come from backgrounds we never imagined in them in. We have keys to the Kingdom.

A few months ago, we started praying about the next steps for us. We knew we were getting comfortable and perhaps it was time to get uncomfortable. One day we prayed and asked Him, “where do you want us?” And I got a picture of a machete. Nothing is random to God but it was for me. My husband suggested looking at the map and we did. We were already feeling Africa was on our hearts. Then we saw it, The Gambia. Shaped like a long machete. We prayed and I remember specially saying, “If this is where you want us to be, you will reveal and make yourself clear to us.

After that we shared with close friends of our, not too long after, we got a text message from when they were in a meeting and shared that the couple who came to stay just so happens to be leaders of YWAM. We knew them for a couple months at this point but we never asked where they were from. Needless to say, we were shocked and it was a key to a door to His Kingdom that we asked for. Who knew?!

Here we are, waiting for more doors to unlock as we see what else will unfold. 

Pray for us as we continue to open these doors. To handle them with delicacy and care as we enter a new culture, new language and new community. Let us be gifted and ready to roll up our sleeves and say, “yes, here I am. Use me.” Let Him be the one to shine His light in whatever ways He can.

Birthing story of Selah Ivy

The last six months of 2016 has been an interesting wrap up for the year and this blog is way overdue for a new post. For right now, I would just love to share several blog posts about this past year to catch up. Because there is just so much to share and not enough time to write all at once. 

This post will be about the birthing story of my daughter and how this season has changed or maybe not changed so much.

Before we got married, one of the things I strongly felt was if I wasn’t ready to have family, I wouldn’t get married. It was important to me to make sure I had the foundation of Jesus set. And the man of my dreams also. When I met Josiah, I knew he was the one, even if it took awhile to finally see. It was less than two months after getting married that we discovered the two pink  lines would change the course of our marriage but for good! We knew we were called to multiply!  

Over the course of the pregnancy, we thought of names. Never would anyone think that name picking is easy. But one name caught my eye: Selah. Josiah didn’t seem super fond of it at first and then one day, I received a confirmation and told Josiah on the way home. The blessing we received was a huge deal for me. A week later, my friend asked me what name we were thinking and I told her and she shared how she was thinking of the name for their possible second daughter and her husband said the name wasn’t for them and agreed it  was for us. Talk about God knowing before we did!

The Hebrew definition means to pause and remember though some may disagree. Her middle name, Ivy means faithfulness and together it means to pause and remember His faithfulness. We believed her identity will help her know who her God is and know His promises in every part of her life. Little did I know, her name would remind us constantly.

The last four months, my husband and I continued staffing for David’s Tent DC on the National Mall and also taking Bible Core Course. While we didn’t take the traditional course load it was still pretty intense. I ended up only doing part of the course because of my stress level. The course ended the first week of May and Selah was due on the 12th. I was slowly taken off the David’s Tent schedule to prepare the arrival of our baby girl. 

That gave us a chance to finish painting her room and setting everything up. A week before her due date my mother in law came to help for three months. To help kind of take our place at the tent and to help with the baby in any way she could. 
A week goes by and no baby but I was 2 cm dilated. We planned for an induction on Friday the 19th. I honestly wanted to avoid an induction and kept hoping she would come before but nothing. So we went in on the 19th at 8pm and they started the induction around midnight. An hour later, contractions began.

I was able to sleep most of the night until about 7 when contractions were getting stronger.I walked in the hall when I could. I couldn’t eat but I tried to sneak a granola bar but threw up later. Laboring and birthing is so much work. By 3pm, I was starting to space out. One of my biggest concern was seizures, I didn’t know how my body would react to giving birth. Spacing out was a sign of exhaustion and I really needed to rest. I had hoped to go natural as much as I could. I did try using laughing gas but for some reason I didn’t like it. 

At 4 pm I decided to use epidural. I was 7 cm at this point. It wasn’t an easy decision because the last time I had a needle stuck in my back I had migraines and headaches that kept me in bed for a week. But the team at Washington Hospital Center was good at explaining and comforting me in my decision. 

After 45 minutes, my legs were pretty numb. They checked to see how far I was and was  10 cm within the hour! I didn’t feel a lot of pressure to push but I was ready to go. They said I could rest for a little but and this gave Josiah a chance to shower and grab dinner. He went with his mom. By 7, I was ready to start pushing so the nurse came in and checked my contractions and told me to start pushing. My water refused to break and I kept pushing hoping it would break but nothing. The sac was slowly coming out and after hour she went to go get the doctor to break my water and to start the birthing process. They came in and started preparing me for the final stage. After breaking the water, I pushed some more. After awhile, my contractions started to slow to five minutes apart. They started getting concerned and just decided that anytime I felt a contraction to go ahead and push. Aft 9:33pm, my 7.6lb 20in, beautiful baby girl came out. I honestly don’t know if she cried but they handed her to me and all I wanted to do was just hold and talk to her. She looked at me with her big eyes and wouldn’t leave my sight. 

We were released in less than 48 hours. And we were so glad to be home. Little did I know that we Selah would be lifeflighted a few days later due to her levels from jaundice, and while most people will say it’s not a big deal, it is when paramedics show up at the door because the pediatrician called and told us to rush her to the ER only to fly to Childrens and spend several days in NICU and not being able to hold your baby or breastfeed. It was traumatizing as a new parent but… I’m thankful that she doesn’t have long term effects and she’s healthy and thriving. Nine months later, she’s determined to walk soon. Has five awkward teeth with a beautiful laugh. To watch her sign, “daddy,” is one of my favorite things.

When she was first sick, it was traumatizing especially with my hormones all out of whack. But when I look at her now, she reminds me of God’s faithfulness, even if it takes awhile or someone needs to remind me. She has been a blessing to us. Challenging to better ourselves and see beyond the independence of what we have become accustomed to. Learning to love beyond our means we have never experienced before. At this moment, Selah is my arms breastfeeding and she’s been sick all day, the things I would do to make her better or better yet, be sick for her. 

I wouldn’t trade anything for those 22 hours I labored with her. I wouldn’t trade watching my husband struggle in the middle of the night going through a bunch of wipes while changing her diapers.  I wouldn’t trade the lack of sleep if it means I get to hold her again for the first time. How is it that God entrusted us to birth such a tiny creation? She was loved before she was made and loved at conception and she was loved the moment we first held her. She is beautifully and wonderfully made. Weaved to His perfection and satisfaction.

To view photos you can check out Instagram: mrslizasmith86

The burden of unforgivness

Josiah and Liza at the National Mall in Washington, DC in December 2015.

Marriage – it has so much meaning and very difficult to describe. Sometimes it’s beautiful, sometimes it has moments of joy and sometimes there’s pain. Every marriage requires work. Taking the time to get to know your spouse, to love and nurture them. To honor and cherish and so much more.

When we come into a place of disagreement, sometimes it can be really hard not to be angry or bitter about the situation. My husband and I have our struggles, like any marriage. My struggle is, I often have a difficult time forgiving when I’ve been hurt. I tend to hold onto that grudge for a few days and sometimes longer.

But then I read this passage from 2 Cor. 2:1-5 and it gave me a new perspective on how to see my marriage and general relationships.

For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

After praying about how to be more forgiving, sometimes you can forgive but it doesn’t mean you have to continue to agree with their behavior but communicate with them how it hurts but also show love by encouraging them and supporting them in hopes that they will take the next step. Never expect them to change because only they can decide this.

The other day, I sat in the car driving with my husband. I forgot what exactly bought up this conversation but then I remember to go ahead and just say, “I forgive you.” The moment I said this, I watched my husband and his expression. I saw him sigh of relief and his shoulders drop down a bit.

It occurred to me at the moment how important it was just to say that. My unforgivness was not helping our marriage. I caught myself feeling remorse not saying this before! My husband needed to hear this in order to feel supported. To forgive means to pardon but not necessarily to overlook.

I realize now that the burden of unforgivness isn’t worth carrying around. It hurts relationships more. When Paul wrote this, he completely understood how important it was. He acknowledged someone was hurting others in the church and needed to be confronted. But he also reminded them to forgive and show love and support through encouragement. People don’t intentionally always hurt others and find themselves in a desperate place when people don’t forgive. It leaves room for the enemy to come in and destroy relationships.

I have personally hurt people more than I desire to admit and when they rejected or ignored me without working to forgive or even encourage, it becomes more of a burden rather than  desiring to better myself. People who forgive, love and encourage are the ones who make me fight another day to try again. Unfrogivness doesn’t have to be a burden and it’s a cycle that CAN be broken.  

Prayer: God, I ask that you continue to speak this truth in me about how to forgive one another. To not hold grudges, anger and bitterness when someone hurts me. I pray that you will continue to show me what it means to love and encourage instead. To support people when they are struggling too. I pray you help me through this cycle of unfrogivness to a point where it’s so easy to forgive others. I pray for your patience as I seek your wisdom. Help me to better understand your character and nature so I can become more and more like you everyday. Forgive me for not being the best I could be but thank you for giving me another chance everyday to try again.  In Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

Broken about the creation of life

Why should babies or even life be a political agenda? Why should I be called pro-life or pro-choice?

The truth is… I love life. I love the fact that my daughter is growing in my womb. I love feeling her move and I get nervous when she’s quiet all day. Sometimes I poke my stomach just to make sure she’s alive in there. It’s not just fun but she’s a miracle.

At around six weeks, I went to a clinic to confirm I was pregnant. As soon as the physician sat down with me and told me. She expressed her concern and asked if I was ok with being pregnant and how I felt. I wasn’t struggling to get pregnant or anything, but I was over the moon excited. She then began in explain how women come into the clinic often wishing they weren’t pregnant. That they didn’t have to worry about raising a child. The idea of being excited with a mom who wasn’t, leaves the clinic hesitant until they know for sure the mom is ok with continuing the pregnancy.

I left in pieces. There are women out there who don’t want to have children and leave devastated when they find out they are pregnant. Not only that, but the clinic allows our society to sulk in this way. Having a child is a huge responsibility but it’s a blessing.

A few weeks ago, I had an ultrasound to make sure the baby was growing healthy and we were able to find out if we were having a girl or boy. My husband and I were both excited. But the doctor sat us down and informed us her heart has calcification which could be a marker for Down Syndrome or future heart defects. She then proceeded to encourage us to do genetic counseling, only to make sure we were okay with the idea of continuing with the birth of our baby girl. Many parents find out there is a small issue with the baby and that it would be best not to continue the pregnancy, we were told.

Again, I left not only broken in pieces but I became a little bit angry. Angry that she would even suggest terminating life where I’ve seen the heartbeat. I’ve seen a moving picture on a screen and even have little snapshots of our daughter that I proudly hang on my living room wall. I left in pieces once again as I think about all the problems my daughter might have, but was she worth eliminating from our life because of a little problem?

I questioned: how is it that doctors walk around thinking it’s ok to encourage the elimination of life before before allowing the parents to process? Because the law gives us a limitation as to how much time before we can stop the pregnancy?

I haven’t officially met my daughter as I’m only 25 weeks in but already there is this unspeakable bond I cannot break since the moment I saw the lines appear on the pregnancy tests I took at home.

But what this blog post is not: I’m not pro-life nor am I pro-choice. What I am is… brokenhearted about this issue. I didn’t feel like I could completely celebrate my daughter’s life the first few weeks because I couldn’t understand how society has even allowed women to consider abortion when there are alternative options out there.

The fight isn’t about murdering an unborn child, or judging the doctors. It’s about the broken system that’s left in pieces because it’s come to the conclusion on how we see life.

How do you wrap up a year like 2015?

If people were to ask me to sum up 2015 in one word, it would be purposeful. It was busy but had so much purpose. Here’s a list of a few highlights below:

1. The ASL DTS 2014-15 crew went to the Philippines. Meanwhile, Josiah and I were dating.
2. He proposed on Feb. 2, 2015!
3. I led an outreach to host a 12-hour prayer burn in Rochester, NY with Josiah co-leading.
4. The YWAM DC ASL crew moved into the Lighthouse in April. (Matthew 6:14)
5. Josiah and I got married June 27th! We took a road trip to Canada and back to Arizona before heading to DC.
6. We decided to commit 14-months of volunteering for David’s Tent DC starting 9/11/15-10/8/16. Regardless of rain, snow and even the Pope couldn’t shut us down.
7. We started events at the Lighthouse with Gallaudet students as well as people from all over the DC, VA and MD area.
8. We found out we’re going to be parents in September. In December, we found out it’s a baby girl.
   

I’ve been going over in my head lately about how crazy this year has been. To date, be engaged, married and pregnant in the same year! Most people would have said we were going too fast, but everything felt right. It was a year of fun, love, bonding and growing. I say growing literally with life!

In terms of ministry, it was a year of a lot of awesome changes and challenges. I got to led my first outreach team on a short mission trip to NY which was a great experience. I felt tested in my own leadership capacity as well as seeing others take the lead. Since then, I’ve seen so much more growth in our team.
Being a part of the Lighthouse event has been fun. I’ve met a lot of people over the last few months. People I’ve had the opportunity to know, pray, learn and to laugh a lot.
David’s Tent DC has been a blast, of course, nothing has been without challenges. We had to relocated temporarily when the Pope came to town but it didn’t stop us from worshipping God 24/7. Our team takes the morning watch and we have met tons of people and have witnessed God do amazing things in people’s lives. We both have experienced a little bit of a breakthrough in leading in worship one way or another. Sometimes, just seeing people’s lives be changed by how we worship; speaking in our heart language – American Sign Language.

I have so much to be thankful for and much to look forward to. Just like Jesus who is the past, present and the future. This is what God has been speaking to me. To be still and know that He is God. He’s the one who knows my life. I know that the year 2016 will be crazy, fun and challenging too. I wouldn’t expect less. One thing I don’t think 2016 will be: a year of resolutions to accomplish. Instead, it will be a year of thanksgiving and learning to appreciating the ride. I’d rather enjoy my successes and my failures and learn from them, than to fail and not learn anything.  The year 2016 is not far away from now and I cannot wait to see what God has in store.

May your 2016 be super blessed!

We are all crying for a better King

My husband and I work at David’s Tent in Washington, DC. We love having the opportunity to serve but not only that, but to lead worship.

I find myself engaging in worship as I go through these mind battles about what’s going on in the world. So much conflict, war, shootings, etc. It’s a non-stop battle in my heart as well.

One day I was leading worship and I spontaneously created this song:

The world is a mess and I don’t understand

The people of the nations are all crying for a better King
The people of the nations are all crying for a better King

You are the King of glory
You are the King of glory

The King who brings His Kingdom 
And changes the world

When I sang this, I sang it with brokenness but with hope. The more I hear about what’s happening, I feel as if there is no way to politically correct way to express what I’m thinking or feeling. I never really post anything on social media because either way, there is no right or wrong answer. People say you should post things so people are aware, but how do you make people be aware?

But I will honestly say this, I’m completely heart broken. There isn’t much I can do. I know I can easily next year, go to the polling booth make my vote for the next leader of our nation. Trusting that they will make the best decisions for our country. It’s not because I’m apathetic or pessimistic, but it’s because I know God is the only one who can change the world.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep praying for wisdom and peace.

Peace & Love

Full Surrender

In September, my husband and I began volunteering for the first time for David’s Tent DC with the YWAM DC ASL Community crew. We will be volunteering full-time until Nov. 8, 2016. Already, It’s been challenging, fun and often brings me to deeper revelations about God.

The more I learn about what worship means, the more I feel connected with God. I’ve spent countless hours in the prayer room at Embassy Church in Washington, DC just surrendering my heart to God. Working through my innermost thoughts and emotions that only God knows what to do with. I’ve hosted a few Prayer Burns over the years to provide an environment where others could go to experience God but also to give Him the greatest glory for all He’s done. But in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself being asked questions I never would thought to think of.

I know my Jesus gave everything for me so I could live. I know he died on the cross, so I wouldn’t have to carry the burdens of my sins. Not only didn’t he die but he rose again so he could continue to live in me. The thought of this if often mind-blowing.

But the question posed to me this week was: Would you be willing to give up a part of your identity to experience more of me?

I asked this question to my husband and he had a hard time answering this himself. But the more I think about it, the more I realized that sometimes what we believe is our identity is not what God wants us to experience. My main identity is and should be in Him and Him in me.

My identity includes but is not limited to: a woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, Deaf, epileptic, a priest and so much more. No, God is calling me out for so much more than these things listed above. When I go to heaven, will my identity remain the same?

I look at the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22. When Abraham’s faith was being deeply tested when God told him to sacrifice his son as a burnt offering. Abraham has not made any objection though I imagine he was sadden, especially since he and Sarah had a difficult time conceiving a child to begin with.

As I am pregnant now, I began to see so many stories in the Bible highlighted. But this particular story brings me to wonder, do I fear God as Abraham does? I’m not suggesting to anyone to go off and kill a child as an offering, Jesus already is the ultimate sacrifice for us.

Would I be willing to give up a part of my identity if it meant I could experience God like never before?

Are you willing to surrender yourself if it meant you could be intimate with Jesus?

The power of faith and healing

Recently, a couple with three girls at a church I’ve been attending experienced one of their daughters drowning. Harper is a delightful two year old, and when her dad found …

Marriage is worth the wait

The Bible says man and woman were designed to be together so man would not longer be lonely and to help multiply. While there were no white gowns or a large celebration during Adam’s and Eve’s time, marriage was still approved in the eyes of the Lord. Celebrations became a cultural trend later on. Getting married is expensive but worth it in the long run!

Today, statistics show a high percentage of Americans have had premarital sex, even Christians. I personally admire those who choose to commit and wait, no matter what society says. For those who didn’t wait; do not think you are not nothing,trash or anything lesser. Anyone who says otherwise may need a heart check themselves. By the grace of God, we have every opportunity to change our ways. For He knows your heart.

For the first time since we’ve been married, everything feels right. Neither of us had any convictions or guilt weighing on our shoulder. Even if it’s just crossing some minor personal boundaries of our own that we created. Crossing those boundaries honestly never felt right. And honestly, living in a community helped keep us accountable for our actions and thoughts.

One thing we’ve come to the agreement on; marriage was worth the wait. There were moments of passion and excitement in our engagement and if we crossed boundaries we always did our best and to come before God about our convictions. We would discuss them together and ask for forgiveness and repent. Forgivness does not give anyone the rights to push further on those boundaries but to work together to fight temptations. Some of those boundaries still apply while married but the key is communication.

We often prayed and discussed what those personal boundaries were. This is really important in any relationship. We learn to honor and respect one another by respecting their boundaries. Since our bodies are considered temples of God, they should be treated as holy or sacred.

To those who are waiting for the right person out there: keep waiting because it’s worth it. It’s never a pleasant feeling of having to constantly repent or feeling as if we are doing things wrong. While we have an awesome and loving Father in heaven who forgives us and has grace, He also longs for us to change our hearts and our ways. (Read Luke 15: 11-32, story of the Prodigal Son). This is what repentance means. But if we take the time to consider the outcome of waiting and enjoying what God has designed us for, the outcome outweighs everything.

While we are new at this married life, we know that we were designed for it and we love every part of it, even our heated moments!

All comments are welcomed but will monitored, edited or deleted as seen fit. I apologize for anything that may seem offensive to anyone. The intention is share what God is doing in our lives. We pray you feel loved through this and welcome any emails to mrslizasmith86@gmail.com for further comments or discussions in private. Thanks for stopping by!

Final post as a Ms.

The clock nearby, it’s ticking and never stops. One more day, one more week and one more hour until I look at my fiancee and can finally call him my husband and starting the next chapter of my life. Time flies but the last month has taught me valuable lessons about relationships and boundaries. I thought I would take some time to share a little bit.

There is much freedom when you take the time to analyze what the issues are before actually addressing them. Once you find yourself realizing what it is that needs worked on, there comes the breakthrough both with yourself and the people around you (sometimes).

I wasn’t taught boundaries growing up. I was taught to fight, and fight hard until I got my way. Either that, or bottle everything up. It bought more harm than good in my relationships. It was demanding and often times demeaning. Even though it was never my intention to hurt people, it still happened. Conviction was strongly felt this last couple of months as I grow closer to my fiancee. I began to realize the pain of all my experiences and worked through the lies I was believing. It took a lot of encouragement and will continue to do so as habits are often difficult to work through. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 9 (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 

What does love look like? It is patient and kind. Meaning I would have to be willing to wait, don’t be quick to jump to conclusions or make assumptions. Love does not want it in their way. It’s not my way or the highway but willing to be flexible and making compromises. Love is not irritated or resentful, but willing to wait and not hold back anger and bitterness. Communication is the key. Love does not rejoice when once does wrong but instead shows truth with love. Love is willing to be understanding, supportive, hopeful and willing to go the extra mile in good and tough times. Love never fades or run out.

As I enter marriage less than week from today, this was a word I needed to hear. I needed breakthrough on what it means to be a great wife. Someone with imperfections of course but does her best to honor her husband. Relationships take work. God’s first commandment is to love others as we love ourselves. It’s a commitment but in the end, it will be worth it.

I ask in this time as I wrap up this blog as Ms. Brandow that you pray for me as an individual. For God to continue to transform my heart. To help me honor my husband and learn to love him in new ways every single day. I ask that you pray for us together, that will grow and learn to do life together. To serve one another and be willing to make sacrifices even when it’s hard. To be thankful always and always praying.

I’m so thankful for all the people who have been reading my blog for the last couple of years, or just recently. I pray you’ve found truth in these words written and the commitment I’ve made to you as my readers are inspired to understand what God speaks to others about. I will continue to write when I return in July with an update of what God is doing. But for now… I’m excited to be a Mrs. Josiah Smith and for an amazing and godly marriage.

With love,

Ms. Brandow

Loving your enemies, the Gentiles and Samaritans

We all know that Jesus said to love your enemies but does that limit you to just the people you really dislike? In this generation, it’s been about racial issues and sexual orientation lifestyle. But read this passage below from Matthew 5:43-48 (ESV):

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect

I wonder, what was Jesus getting at besides giving a reminder of the commandments? Aside from the reward in which only those who seek His Kingdom would truly understand by how we love on others.

There are many stories of how Jesus interacted with people. How he invested in their lives. Going into their homes, sharing a meal and sharing stories. Jesus really took the time to get to the heart of the issue and he was no different in how he saw outsiders. He took the fishermen, he took the tax collector, he took many people on who were sinners and knew their faults. And yet, he still hung out with prositutues, the homeless and the sick. He even released a murderer as he was approaching his crucifixion. People who were in desperate need of Jesus, didn’t deserve it and despite that, Jesus still loved them.

Jesus expects us to do the same. Especially in a culture where comfort is our greatest self-satisfaction, Even as I admit my own guilt of preferring to hang out with people I’m most comfortable with I’m strongly aware of missing out on an opportunity to develop my character into what Jesus has called me to. To seek His Kingdom. A small part of it is bringing others into the picture, no matter what their background is.

My challenge for this week: Don’t just say hi and smile to some random stranger. Actually take the time and engage with them. Share our life stories. You never know what doors might be opened up. For one person, it could be a life changing moment when they experience His love for the very first time. Are you up for it?

How romantic films distort real love

I’ve watched a few romantic films over the years and found myself that I prefer horror films just because they are funny.

As a woman, I began to question society and their worldview on romance. Do I long to get married in the future and to have children? More than I can imagine. But what I think people don’t really pay attention to is how much relationships really take work. I recently became engaged, and while the excitement is still there in the midst of crazy wedding planning. I’ve found myself wondering… do romantic movies remove original design for love?

Often movies are filled with a desire to fill an empty void. Something missing in our lives. But the more I learn to depend on God, the more I learn that the only way to fill the missing void, is to seek the Lord with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. God isn’t whimsical and neither is earthly love.

Love is not a feeling or a perception but a way one may express themselves to others. Love is not easily expressed and is often superficial. The greatest love shown to man is when Jesus took himself on the cross.

But today’s films distort what love should look like between a husband and wife. But to be honest, it also shows just how human we are today. We fail, again and again. We cheat, we lie, we lust and kill. Satan’s only job? To destroy and kill. As a woman, I have no desire to watch films or television shows where marriages are ending rather than be worth fighting for. To see men courting women rather than lusting after them. To see woman seek men who truly honor women in their lives and seek the Lord with all their hearts.

As a soon to be Mrs. Smith… what do I seek in my future husband or what do I hope he seeks in me.

1) To love and to honor God
2) Willingness to seek wisdom and guidance from God and not the world in his decision for his family
3) Has a strong community to hold himself accountable
4) To love and honor the people in his/her life
5) Trust the Holy Spirit
6) Never cease praying
7) Have a quick and forgiving heart (marriage will not work out if no one forgives)
8) Be okay with setting boundaries
9) Communication

I don’t know about you, but the things on my list are things not often shown in romantic films. Recently, I went to see Old Fashioned and it is now one of my favorite romantic films. It felt real and true. I felt respected, honored and loved through the film and my expectations for my relationship began to change. I got rid of many of the lies I’ve always believed about myself and held on to the truth that God speaks in our lives. As humans, we are not perfect and we definitely don’t deserve a lot of things. But because of grace, we’ve been given infinite love. Who says we cannot also experience some of that infinite love through earthly relationships?

Divine Forgivness

Forgiveness: Since the majority of the Old Testament was written in Hebrew, the Hebrew word for Salach is translated into forgive. Their definition is: to forgive, pardon or spare. The online dictionary’s definition of forgive is to stop being angry or resentful against someone’s offense, flaw or mistake. Another definition is to relieve a debt. From being able to combine the two definitions, it basically means to let go of an offense, flaw or mistake.

There are two different kinds of forgiveness; there is forgiveness for our own sins and forgiveness of the sins done against us. It’s important while studying scripture to understand which of the two it’s talking about. Most of those who are against others are clearly referenced in the New Testament (example: Matthew 18:35).

Alexander Pope once said: “To err is human to forgive is divine.” People often were challenged by Jesus on the idea of how God and man can forgive; considering that Jesus was God and man. In the Old Testament, in order for sin to be forgiven, it was often required to bring animals or even people to be taken to the Temple where people meet with a priest and pardon for by animal sacrifice. But before the New Testament, it was prophesied that someone would one day come along and save the people from their sins. Finally, Jesus was sent, not only did he come to teach us what it means to die (repent) to sin but he took our place from sin. The questions are: what does this mean for us? And how does this make forgiveness divine? Was forgiveness divine in the Old Testament or only in the New Testament before Jesus died on the cross and then rose again?

According to Luke 7:49, “…those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?”

In Mark 2:9, it was challenged to compare which was easier; to forgive someone or believe if you told someone to get up and walk.  “Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’?”

People began to question forgiveness as they learned from Jesus. First we need to recognize why Jesus may have brought these issues up. Jesus knew that men relied on what they saw more than what they actually believed. It wasn’t man’s faith Jesus questioned, but the heart. He could clearly see we relied on what was in front of us. But forgiving someone meant going deeper.

What does divine mean? Something that devoted to God or considered sacred. When we look Acts 17:28-30. God didn’t just see what we thought of Him but considered our relationship sacred. He desired us to have a pure heart. Many times in the Old Testament, gold and silver was often a symbolism of idolatry or beauty. However, God doesn’t want us to idolize Him in our lives, he wanted us to be intentional about our relationship with Him. Having a relationship with Him is already divine, but when deciding to forgive, it is one of the hardest thing man can do other than to have faith. Jesus saw the hardness of our hearts, it’s easier to hold onto something than to pardon. It’s easier to witness miracles, but harder to know and trust how God cares in the moment. But what’s the reward of forgiving (ourselves or others)? Matthew 6:14 says we will also be forgiven. Any anger, bitterness, feelings or actions of revenge or negative thinking of that person – will also be forgiven.  Forgiveness, alone is divine, because God could have chosen to to write down everything and not let go of our wrongs. But because of Jesus, he became the perfect lamb, all of our sins were broken.

When Jesus was sharing the Lord’s prayer, it was intentional. Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus was saying as we continue to know God and His word, we begin to learn what it means of how Jesus forgave us of our debt, he also wanted us to relieve others of their debt. When Jesus died on the cross, it was something he was willing to bear so we could experience freedom but only if we desired to have that freedom. One story in Romans 12:14-21 about a debt that a servant owed to the slave master. But the slave master could have charged him and with interest! But he decided not to, he forgave him of his debt and let his servant go. The story continues in using manipulation of another servant to get what was owed. When the servant master found out what he had done, he rebuked him and threw him in jail. God wants us to experience forgiveness.

Divine forgiveness has been shown since the beginning of time. God could have killed Adam and Eve when they disobeyed in the Garden. But he didn’t. He showed mercy and grace but it meant doing they had to find a way to restore their relationship with God. The Old Testament shows over and over again of God’s forgiveness or at least mercy. But something needed to change so Jesus was sent so we could be set free.

What does this look like for me personally and how can I apply it. As I think of these stories and read into the scripture and study specific words, I think it helps me to understand what God’s character looks like. What is inhumanly impossible for me is possible for God but because through Jesus, anything is possible (Phil 4:13). He made forgiveness possible. But it means I need to examine my heart when I come before the Lord. When we don’t forgive, it leads to sin. And God hates sin. But he loves when we put out faults and other people’s faults on the altar and give it to him. Matthew 11:30 says, “my yoke is easy and burden is light.” We’re not expected to carry such burdens.

As I think about what debt really means or what it means for someone to owe me, I don’t want that kind of burden. I don’t want to carry unforgiveness around. Satan wants us to drag it around in circles for as long as we can. He laughs when we accept an offense and more so when we seek to throw the dagger back at one another (revenge). My heart thinks about all the bitterness or anger I may hold against someone because of things they’ve done or said and I realize I’m no better than most of the people that Jesus told these stories to. BUT… I can choose to decide carry these things and continue in sin. Or, I can chose to go to God and forgive. Despite knowing that I can’t do it on my own, I need to lay down my pride and let God work. As a result, I can experience the reward of freedom not only freedom for myself but knowing God has forgiven me as well.

Kayla Mueller’s death taught me the value of God’s Kingdom

About a few days ago, I discovered a former classmate, Kayla Mueller, from college had been killed by an airstrike by Syria. But the ISIS was the one who was holding her hostage for ransom money. She was serving the best way she knew how and serving meant being in the front line of the unknown helping people escape war.

If I never felt personally connected or affected by ISIS, although I’ve been affected by the way in the middle east because of my brothers. But this time, it’s hitting close to home. I didn’t really know Kayla, but I remember seeing her around campus and in some classes we had together.

I spent a couple hours weeping in the prayer room, trying to make sense of her death. I found some comfort and peace knowing she was found but I also felt broken. She only wanted to live, and didn’t want to give up. She could have chosen to stay behind in America and just helped women in shelters but she wanted to do more. Things that most people would be terrified of. How could she has been taken and then accidentally killed by an airstrike intended to kill the enemy?

As I prayed about this situation and asking God how to respond, I felt I needed to read Joshua 1:9:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

I can only imagine in the moment of her death when she was fighting for her life and was suddenly taken. But she knew something, she knew God was with her and she had not given up on her faith. These words spoke life over me as I began to feel some sense of peace in my own heart.

God doesn’t want us to live in fear but to know and trust He is with us. Joshua himself was on the front lines fighting but men were afraid to fight and numerous times, Joshua emphasized not to be afraid but to be courageous. Go and fight for what’s rightfully yours. In this case, the ISIS is NOT claiming to take my life, even though they may have taken Kayla’s. But I refuse to live in fear but to be courageous. Why? Because I know my God is with me and I will fight on the front lines if it means bringing His Kingdom here.

Kayla’s death is not in vain. It taught me the value of God’s Kingdom. Let’s fight this battle and not allow Satan to take hold on what is rightfully ours.

Atonement

About a year ago, I had a dream. At one point in the dream, the bottom of my feet had the word ‘atonement’ written. Sounds strange, right? Why in the word would someone have a dream about the word ‘atonement’ on their feet?

According to Bible Hub, the Greek word for Atonement is defined as: Reconciliation or restoration of favor.

I didn’t understand this dream for about a year, until recently during inner healing session I began to realize a certain family member came up and I was asked to pray about what God says. I remembered from a few months ago and how difficult it was to process and forgive. But this time, I had received this picture as shown above as a reminder of what God thought.

A certain family member had molested me and one part used was my feet. I had blocked it out for years and to top it off, I had no idea how much it affected my relationship with people or my behavior. I  constantly felt shame, fear of man, heaviness, confusion, anxiety, depression and even guilt. A typical response to those who struggle with molestation and/or rape.

This dream was simply a confirmation of not only God allowing me to reconciling to Him as a process of healing but also He is able to restore favor and say this is not what He desired but rather He wants to make me whole again.

I don’t know about you, but when God uses dreams to show us just how much He wants to heal us, there is nothing more powerful than a graphic picture that replaces the night terrors of being molested or raped. Jesus’ died on the cross so we could experience restoration, healing and freedom. No one should have to carry the burden of other people’s sins or suffering, but Jesus did.

Healing is possible. To be made whole is possible. It’s not the end, but rather a new day and a new place. A new time and our hearts can restored. Only He can make me whole. Doctors, counselors, psychiatric, medications and even my leaders can guide me but cannot help me, but God can and He is. By His grace and mercy, I am set free.

A letter to insecurity

Dear insecurity,

It’s been a rough day, I’ve been going back and forth with you about all these silly things that I know won’t matter tomorrow. I’m probably making myself paranoid and having these lame and unnecessary conversations in my head. There are so many lies going through my mind, I’m not sure which ones to filter out or perhaps I need to take a step further in analyzing in why I think this way. I try to picture myself with Jesus in those moments of when I began to first feel those things or receive those lies or make destructive vows over my life.

Let me put it this way, I really despise you because I know you are not of who I am suppose to be. Instead, I’m made into a person with the assumption that I could do more, be more and maybe…. just maybe lesser than what I should be. I’m not sure what this looks like in its entirely. Could I do more? Why are they so much better than me? Why do I feel like I’m not good enough no matter what I do? How can I be more pretty? Fix my crooked nose? Why am I always accused of faking my deafness or called a hypocrite instead of respected. Why I’m I never deaf enough according to some cultural standards despite my revolting experiences of discrimination and bullying?  So many words flood through my mind of ALL of my insecurities.

But Abba says… “your insecurities are not of you. You are already perfect for I made you in my image. You were already adopted into my kingdom before I even made you in your mother’s womb. I gave you a heart full of dreams and passions and your desires are what drive you to building my Kingdom at best. I asked you to stand on your feet and shout my name for your heart is far more important than the languages you speak or the culture you’ve inherited. For my Kingdom is greater and far more advance than what’s been built since the fall of the Babel. Since Adam and Eve made a decision in which affected mankind, insecurities will always remain but it doesn’t make them anymore truer than the truth my Words proclaim. Anyone who claims to tell you otherwise, needs their own heart check as well. Don’t forget the beauty of your heartbeat because it beats with Me, my love.”

“Abba, I cry out to You like a small child, clinging to hope and desperation, for you are the anchor of my soul who knows every little detail including all the hairs on my head. For I shouldn’t worry about what other people think but embrace what I see in the mirror and not forget for Your beauty is within me. Thank You Abba, for the life you’ve given and enabling me to be a part of your Kingdom. For I have no fear as you walk with me and my love for you as my Father grows fonder and intimate than anything else for nothing can satisfy my soul except You.”

For my beloved calls me His daughter, with all His loving kindness, I no longer need to heed to the pointless and exhausting conversations in my head and my heart and my spirit is finally still.

Words matter

 As I think about what to say in this post, I ponder my words carefully. I realize how easy it is to craft words but knowing how influential they are to society, is just as much as what God is expecting to hear from me. My words, I pray are from and to God and not my flesh.

This morning, we had announcements and one of them was about picking up a dresser. I suddenly became a little frustrated because I thought I would be responsible for finding an additional dresser for our room but suddenly someone else took charge. I began creating this silly conversation in my head of what to say. Pleading my case to make them understand how I felt about the situation. But then it hit me, where’s the humility? Where’s the gratitude? I’ve been sick for a few days after all, I should be grateful someone took over and helped me out while I was sick. It was in that moment, I began to realize how selfish I was. I still wish it was communicated instead of someone taking control. But I decided to let it go, it wasn’t worth building up anger over.

I also realized something else, my words really mattered at the moment. I had this conviction, no longer was it about me anymore. As I study the passage below, we no different and should not only care about what we say to others, or care what they say to us, but that we should care what we think of saying to God. Our thoughts are just as relevant as the words we speak.

I repent from thinking thoughts that do not honor God and I replace them with words of life and praise.

Matthew 15:1-20

Some Pharisees and teachers of religious law now arrived from Jerusalem to see Jesus. They asked him, “Why do your disciples disobey our age-old tradition? For they ignore our tradition of ceremonial hand washing before they eat.”

Jesus replied, “And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ 6In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’” Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear.“Listen,” he said, “and try to understand. It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.” Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you realize you offended the Pharisees by what you just said?” Jesus replied, “Every plant not planted by my heavenly Father will be uprooted, so ignore them. They are blind guides leading the blind, and if one blind person guides another, they will both fall into a ditch.”

Then Peter said to Jesus, “Explain to us the parable that says people aren’t defiled by what they eat.” “Don’t you understand yet?” Jesus asked. “Anything you eat passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer. But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you.”

Making Jesus Lord in the Prayer Room

Youth With A Mission in DC is one of the most intense experiences. It’s also always a learning experience, especially in the prayer room. I not only work for the YWAM ASL team but I also work under Washington House of Prayer. Often we have corporate prayer meetings but it’s challenging because the ASL ministry isn’t leading. Because of that, it creates resistance and tension in the atmosphere when our team enters the room. 

One of the things I’ve been praying for breakthrough for awhile was this: how can I enter into a corporate prayer meeting as a model to simply be there serving God? How can I stop myself from caring about what others may be thinking when I walk in? Does it even matter what they think? Should I be continuously worried? How do I lay down my pride of my culture and not expect others to serve me first before I serve God?

The last question struck me a little hard this week as I’ve been reading, Making Jesus Lord by Loren Cunningham. It not only challenged me but I began to realize that even though I don’t consider myself to idolize my culture before myself, I do care about what man think in terms of it. I begin to follow them and lose myself to them rather than God. 

I’ve been evaluating the purpose of the prayer room this week. Why am I there? Because I need God to serve me, to heal me, to show me His throne room? Because I need to be holy through repentance? Because I need to worship God and let HIm know I think of HIm daily? 

I realized it’s so much than that being in the prayer room. I find myself ignoring my peers in the room and focusing on Jesus, serving Him and only Him. Yes, having an interpreter is beneficial because I begin to know what’s happening. But I should not limit God in the prayer room because of my hearing, or lack of accessibility to language. I don’t speak in tongues because I don’t know how, I don’t because I think I want to support my peers. The problem: I’m not serving God through this, therefore: I cannot serve my community to the fullest. 

I hate knowing I’ve missed opportunities to minister to God’s heart and hear His heart for me and my community. But slowly I will learn to give up my rights and simply follow the Holy Spirit, not man’s wants, needs or rights. I want my own pride to be broken. To to simply make Jesus Lord in the prayer room.

The Father’s Heart

Howdy folks,

I’m making some new changes, especially with Discipleship Training School starting soon. I feel like taking the opportunity to do more! Sharing personal testimonies and more about the Word in which God gives divine revelation of who He is. I hope you enjoy this testimony and God Bless you!

YouTube Video of The Father’s Heart

With love.

Liza

Blink of an eye: a new generation

Seems like forever since I last wrote, I was actually surprised how many people don’t have internet or wifi in their home as I discovered while traveling cross country this summer. The writer in me was getting a little creative after spending a lot of time talking to myself. Now that I’m back in D.C., I’m ready for another round of craziness (after a two week break). But first, I can’t go without sharing what’s been happening in the last two months about the B.E. and what God has been showing me about our generation. 

Before I left for the B.E. tour, I honestly tried to not set myself for high expectations. One of my greatest strength and weakest. I was at at least expecting to see God do amazing things and truth is, because of this, the trip was beyond my expectations and sometimes God surprised me. After 20+ performances for our hour-long drama, I saw God moving. Sometimes I was never sure. In some locations we stopped and performed at, people would laugh deliriously and I could hear it from behind the backdrop curtains. Other times, it was completely silent and once in awhile, I might hear a stifled laugh. I was never sure but I certainly hoped people were gaining insight through what God wanted to share with them.

I didn’t join this trip because I wanted to gain something amazing from this summer (I knew that would happen), but I went on the trip because I wanted to see God move. I wanted to see partnership within the deaf and hearing community and become a witness to something in our generation that I often feel is missing: hunger. Instead I see too many people focusing on the emptiness. As someone who knows what it’s like to grow up in the fatherless generation, emptiness and uncontentment which is sometimes all I see and feel. What our generation is lacking is hunger for the father. It’s almost normal to not have a father involved in people’s lives.

A few days ago, I read to To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller and it hit me, we not only live in a fatherless generation but we also don’t know what it’s like to be ‘Fathered.’ This is something I’m grasping on a personal level as God has been revealing Himself to me this year that He is my Father. But I’m still learning what it means to let Him father me in my life. But what does this mean for my generation who is searching high and low for a father’s love? 

At the end of most performances, there would be fellowship. We all had an opportunity to hear what God did in people’ hearts. For many, they were hit about their original identity and for some, they talked about what was missing in their lives. They were beginning to feel hunger pangs for something more than what they’ve been taught. 

My ongoing prayer:

Father, no matter what our generation looks like or is lacking, I pray You will be the one to not only fulfill their needs, but also show them more of who You are. Using the smallest part of their everyday lives. The next generation may suffer just as much, but at least they would know something is out there that is greater than what they world offers. I’m not afraid of what our generation is going through, but I’m afraid the hunger pangs will be satisfied by what they world may offer but it will never be enough or eternal. I long for people to be hunger for your everlasting love, especially from my generation where the fatherless are struggling to know You. Bring back the original meaning of marriage and families and teach us how to love as you love. This is a generation that is going to fight for what they know is rightfully theirs and won’t have to wait until heaven to receive it or realize they miss out on a beautiful journey on the other end. You know no bounds, yet gave your life for us.

Fill us with your love, in Jesus’ name.

Tough Love

This week posed a lot of questions  as I’ve been traveling on the BE Tour, where I needed to be honest with myself about different issues. Things that concern my past but bringing major breakthrough. 

Last week, I had an opportunity to visit my parents. I think it was one of the hardest things I’ve faced on this trip and more nerve wrecking than voice interpreting for a large audience when the pressure is on. How do I be real with people, be honest without hurting people who matter? And how do I have an unoffendable heart? How do I set healthy boundaries and not feel attacked? How do I also learn to break patterned behavior I’ve learned?

The first thing is; we must spend time reading the word and understanding what Jesus was like. When we do this, we have the ability to recognize our weaknesses and find our strength through God. How did Jesus talk to people, respond and even ask questions. How was he able to be honest with people and recognize it was necessary and not toxic? How did Jesus react when people insulted him? 

Boundaries is something that is learned over time from the time we are young. But it’s a learning process. Often times, we’ll meet people who have never really learned to set healthy boundaries. 

The important thing through all this is to: have an unoffendable heart, to forgive, have compassion, be honest, set boundaries, evaluate yourself and your relationships and more importantly – to love. Will these things be easy? No. But through Christ, we can do all things and that’s when breakthrough happens.

Here tonight and gone tomorrow!

Just a few hours after sunrise tomorrow morning, our Burning Embers team of eight be hitting the road with our first stop being in Lancaster, PA. We’ll be spending a couple of days hanging out with the folks at the First Deaf Mennonite Church and we’re also thrilled to see what God is going to do in terms of speaking to us through Loren Cunningham and other well known speakers at the Catch the Wave Circuit Rider Conference. 

We’ll come back to D.C. for Saturday night and then hit the road once again before we head out to Richmond, VA and then continue through 25 states before reaching our final destination in Mercer, PA before heading back to D.C. for debrief. We’ll be connecting with churches and deaf ministries across the country and also serving in World Deaf Assemblies of God Conference as well as helping out at a deaf camp in Indiana. We’ll have multiple opportunities to present the stage of God’s message through drama. Some are funny, touching and meant to make you think about your relationship with God one way or another. Burning Embers is designed to ignite the heart and B.E. who you’re called to be: adopted sons and daughters. 

This is a season where there will be full of surprises, challenges, grace, love and so much more. We’re all here tonight but gone tomorrow and ready to ignite the embers which have been burning.  

Will keep you all posted along the way of all the things God is doing and don’t be afraid to stop by www.asldts.com.

The Oil

Too often, we find ourselves wondering about how far and deep with are with God. Some of us go deeper in our quiet times and some of us go deeper when we’re being fed through impartation of knowledge. Some of us go deeper when we lead or preach and some of us go deep when we intercede. The question of finding the balance or the fine line is important in our daily Christian walk. 

What makes us have an intimate relationship with God and how do we go about it to get there? Matthew 25:1-13 is one of the few parables showing how to do deep with God, but knowing you have to be the one to do the work. The Oil is the Holy Spirit. The ten virgin bridesmaids had a relationship with God, but when some foolish bridesmaids began asking for more oil, the door gets shut on them. They don’t steward their oil so they could keep on burning. 

There’s a time and place for church, but there’s a reason why people say the church is not limited to a building to be fed. In order to be fed and kept on fire with the Lord, we must be willing to go to the secret place. What does that mean? It means finding time in your daily walk. If we limit God to only on Sunday, we’ll never grow. If we limit God to a building, we’ll be constantly hungry. If we limit God to the sky, we’ll never be satisfied with the world. 

Quiet times are important to me daily. Just an hour, sometimes more will help feed my hungry soul and quench my thirst by the end of the day as I crawl into bed because I’ve gone to the secret place and contemplated everything. I’ve asked God for the oil and to come fill me. I cannot expect people to impart knowledge in order for me to grow and depend on it. I must be willing to go above and beyond to behind closed doors and know my Heavenly Father. I know in our modern day culture, we’re filled with many things to do. There’s a small solution to the problem and it’s simply to find the time. If that means investing an extra hour of our waking day to fill our souls, then we will be able to do the work God has called us to with much fulfillment.  

I know I will personally get burned out if I don’t go to the secret place and spend time with Him. 

Here’s a video of Fill me by Jesus Culture.

Choices

I love breaks, I love being able to catch up with the latest. Or hang out with my friends, especially when we both have super busy schedules. I’m amazingly blessed to catch up on much needed rest and yes, sometimes I work a little bit too.

This week, I went to the Library and decided to watch some documentaries. As a human being, I love keeping fresh insight on life and challenging myself with the truth. I decided to watch a two and a half hour long documentary called, The Lake of Fire. Where the idea of abortion is seen in pro-life and pro-choicers.

My mind was blown away when I realized the consequences of Roe vs. Wade. When I realized how people respond and perhaps how I respond to it as well. I sobbed when I heard Norma McCovery’s testimony. Norma was one of the women who participated in the Roe vs. Wade trail. She had falsely claimed she was raped and wanted an abortion. She never did and ended up giving birth and giving up the child for adoption. It wasn’t until later she realized the burden she was carrying for long and the idea of millions of babies being murdered every year. She began to befriend people who moved in next door: Operation Rescue. They bought her to the cross, where she was able to lift her burden and give her life to Christ. It’s not everyday someone would be willing to do such a thing. 

I am challenged to consider the kind of God we have. Our God is just, which means He (not us) will be the one to judge those accordingly. It is not our responsibility to take on the burden of others but it is our responsibility to come before God and repent. In the documentary, it was reported of several doctors who worked in clinics and lives being taken by an extreme fundamentalist Christian who claimed, God told him to do it. In 2 Thess 1:6-9, it clearly states God is simply just. 

In Matthew 11:30, Jesus says his yoke is easy and burdens are light. Which means we are not intended to carry such a responsibility. I’m thankful I don’t have to carry the years of responsibility and weight on my shoulders. It would bare to be too painful and I, myself would even consider alternative ways to cope.

My next question was, what kind of a Christian am I? Am I cultic Christian? Condemning? Hateful? Bigot? I really hope none of them, but the truth of God’s word is simply there to pave the way for my life, both on earth and in heaven. It’s completely up to the person to decide their fate. On earth, we only have two responsibilities: to love God and others and to put on my armor and show the light. On earth, the battle must be won. 

What saying “no” means

This season has been really challenging me and I honestly don’t even know what to call this season of my life. I had to go see a doctor this week and was told I had a sectia injury resulting from a hard fall I took a couple of weeks ago while hiking the Billy Goat trail. 

With some R & R and a little bit of light stretching, I should be back up in no time. Our team had planned to go backpacking this weekend for a couple of days in the Appalachian Mountains, starting in Hapers Ferry in WV. The doctor said if it still hurts, don’t go. But if you feel confident and it doesn’t hurt, go for it. 

I woke up this morning, walked around for a bit and decided on a firm but sad, no. The Arizonian in me is itching to get out and go hiking for a day or two, but my body is yelling, “I will really despise you and make you miserable if you go!” I thought and prayed through it and realized as much as it sucks, it will be worth staying behind. 

Our B.E. tour is about three weeks away, and I need to be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared. This trip will be challenging in all the walks of life. And I know there will be plenty of, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” moments where it’s all I can say.  Learning to say no in obvious and unhealthy situations; is simple obedience. But with wisdom and grace, anything is possible.

Healing will come quick!

What 24 hours of praying taught me

This weekend was the second 24 hour prayer and fast at Gallaudet in the last two years. Only this time, with a community support. But it wasn’t what I was expecting. God taught me to allow the Holy Spirit to lead.

A few months ago during YWAM’s Breakthrough, God had shown me several times about the House of Prayer. Every time, I would ask what He wanted me to do with the idea of House of Prayer specifically. It always circled around Gallaudet. One weekend, there was a University gather happening at Embassy Church where various of Universities from the D.C. area and east coast gather to learn more about God. I was challenged to pray and ask God for His permission slip. Before I even started, I already had received a vision of a candle. He already knew I wanted to ask about the 24 hour prayer and fast at Gallaudet and he approved it with a burning candle (oil that lasts). It was His promise. All I had to do was, respond.

After much prayer and planning, it kicked off this weekend. Stations were set up to keep the oil burning in those 24 hours. Receiving revelation and keeping my eyes wide open. I admit to falling asleep for four hours, but I’ve learned as long as you wake up and say, “Amen!” Your prayer still counts.

We had several students and a Chaplin walk in to pray either on their own or joined up corporately. We heard their cries and we grieved with them.

In the very last hour, we gathered corporately. But when I walked in, we were kind of teasing at some point about the circle in the ceiling and decided to sit underneath the circle and simply pray. Two years ago, God gave me a revelation of an oasis in which people would come to Gallaudet and drink the spiritual water and know God. The reminder came during Breakthrough 45, I felt He wanted me to continue to pray over that. If you looked in the middle of the circle, you can see a fire alarm and a water sprinkler. Our ministry recently changed the name to Burning Embers, we believe it’s a prophetic sign from God confirming our ministry and what God’s doing on the campus.

Here are some things we prayed about and how you can pray:

-Thomas H. Gallaudet’s heart for the deaf community was to simply have access to a language that allowed them to know God. He journeyed to Europe and discovered sign language. Sign language began to develop in the United States and gave access to the deaf for the first time. We prayed this would be remembered as the original design for the deaf community’s language as well as Gallaudet University as it also taught them productive skills.

– Gallaudet’s Watchtower; people used to be able to climb up and pray over Gallaudet, but because of people not respecting the Watchtower, it was later prohibited from entering. Students will attempt to climb on the room to enter into the Tower. We would like permission to enter and pray from the top.

– To clean the bad spirits lingering around campus in which was hindering God from being able to do things.

-For students and staff who are Christians to step up and take the lead. Many people are hiding because of the fears of their peers. Religion doesn’t play well on the campus.

– Churches to come into partnership and help students step up. Make churches more inviting for them.

– Open a deaf church in the Washington, D.C. area. There are currently no deaf churches but churches who have deaf ministries.

 

I’m really grateful to be able to lead this. It’s a privilege to allow the Holy Spirit to do things, to encourage our team and encourage each one of us individually. If there is anything I’ve learned the most about the Holy Spirit, you must be intentional. Leading a prayer room is not easy but if you come with an open heart and an open mind, the Holy Spirit will do the rest.